On Romantic Relationships

February 11, 2019

I had a different topic in mind for today, but seeing that it's Valentine's Day this week, people's relationships are top of mind. It doesn't matter who it is, when people wish to consult with me one on one, the number one thing they wish to talk about is their relationship. Even those who don't currently have a partner want to discuss finding one. I will structure this article based on the most commonly asked questions I get on this topic. 

How do I make my relationship happier? 

When we fall in love, we are recognizing our self in another. We see the oneness of all things, we see unity. And we see this through unity points–"I like pizza with pineapple and pepperoni. You do too, no way!" But this experience causes some people to mistakenly think that the other person is the source of their happiness, that the other "completes them." So they approach the relationship with an empty bag of need expecting the other to fill it rather than offering their own fulfillment to the relationship. Understanding this and breaking the pattern of expectation of happiness coming from the other person automatically relieves pressure on the relationship. Then, working on finding fulfillment within yourself and bringing that to your partner builds connection. If the other reciprocates (I realize this can be a big ask), you will be sharing in each other's happiness. 

How do I reignite the spark? 

In Vedic philosophy, masculine and feminine are two sides of the same wave. When those sides realize they are the same and balance is found, a unity experience occurs. We call it attraction. This is what is happening in our romantic relationships, even in same sex relationships, our masculine qualities are finding balance with feminine and visa versa. When looking to enhance attraction with your partner, look for the divine masculine and/or divine feminine within them. Don't put attention on their little stress induced behaviors but look for their bigger Self. These qualities were easily seen at the beginning of the relationship, but as time passes and stress is introduced into the relationship, it makes these qualities harder to see. 

My partner and I are breaking up. Did we fail?

A break up is no indication of failure, it simply indicates the union is no longer relevant. That doesn't mean the union was never relevant and the relationship was a "mistake." A relationship can be highly relevant for a time, which is to say it supported the evolution of both partners, but for whatever reason that evolution now is best supported elsewhere. Often a relationship breaks up when one person is evolving at a fast rate and the other is nor or even resisting that person's evolution. As you can imagine, this situation would not be sustainable for long. 

How can I make my partner understand me? 

Unfortunately, we cannot make another person understand anything. We all see from the perspective of our own state of consciousness. You may have explained something very clearly, but if the other is very stressed, that message will be distorted through that stress and they will be unable to receive what you are explaining. The best solution is to not be too concerned if someone else understands you (look to any political comment section on the internet to find the futility of that endeavor) but to put your attention on raising your own consciousness. The higher your state of consciousness, the more objective your view will be and also the more compassion you'll experience during times of disagreement. This can often inspire the other in the relationship to do the same. When you have two people of a high level of consciousness together, they see so much unity in one another, discord has trouble sneaking in. 

 

 

 

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KRISTEN VANDIVIER is an independent meditation teacher. She and THE VEDIC METHOD are not affiliated in any way with the Maharishi Foundation USA or Transcendental Meditation ("TM") organizations, or with any trademark, program or organization that is affiliated with, or a licensee of, the Maharishi Foundation USA or Transcendental Meditation ("TM").

Vedic Meditation is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider regarding any medical condition.

​© 2017 by The Vedic Method.

 

​© 2017 by The Vedic Method.