Searching for Mother
This past weekend was Mother’s Day, a day that digs up stuff more than any other holiday. Well, maybe second to Christmas, but still pretty baggage laden. Our relationship with our mother is our first relationship, when we are first born, we do not even realize that we are separate from our mothers until we’re six or seven months old. No wonder there’s a lot there. I lost my mother fairly early in life and am now a mother of three, expecting my fourth, so I’ve thought about the meaning of this role a lot over the years. Whether you had a wonderful relationship with your mother, or it was fraught with conflict or absence, or if you are struggling with your own children or struggling to have children, if there is healing needed, I am happy to share with you what I’ve learned on this front.
Mother as a state of consciousness
I’m sure you’ve heard the term, “Divine Mother.” This is not simply a hippy term. It means that there is a particular sequence on the keyboard of the One consciousness that plays the chord of “Mother.” All that was created came from this consciousness. Her womb holds the entire universe. Every mother to some extent is a percentage of this consciousness. The mothering you remember or longed for is this Divine Mothering consciousness coming through a person. What that means is you can always connect with this consciousness even if your mother is no longer around or if the relationship is broken. I felt this one morning in the Ganga. Water is the element of the Divine Feminine, so immersing yourself in a natural body of water can instantly connect you with that awareness. I had been grieving my mother, and I entered that goddess of a river and heard a voice while looking at the sparkles on the ripples, “It was always me.” What I missed about my mother was that big capital M mother coming through her, it was always with me and was still with me.
Mother as a verb
I feel strongly that to be a mother, you do not need to give birth, nor even be a woman. The birthing process is noble and divine, a rite of passage that nothing can replace, but it is not a requirement for being a mother. I think of the word mother as “to mother,” as in a mother is “one who mothers.” To the extent the Divine Mothering consciousness is enlivened in you, you are a mother. Some of the most inspirational “mothers” I have ever known do not have children of their own. We can heal our “mother wound” whatever shape it may take, by finding this inner mother and letting Her express Herself. This may be by caring for our own children, or caring for people in need (this can include yourself).
Mothering on the rise
To the Divine Mothering consciousness, everything is Her children so everything is deserving of love. This nurturing consciousness is what needs to rise more than any other to help balance the strife and violence in our world. It needs to rise in all of us. While mothers often are seen as culturally taking a back seat, this collective feminine rising uniquely positions us mothers as leaders in the movement for progressive change. We are not only shaping the next generation but finding our role as protectors of all of us. I always love to teach mothers meditation, because I know when I teach a mother, I’m supporting a whole community. The mother role is highly demanding because mothers are the sun of their solar system. To the extent they radiate, they nurture all in their event horizon.
Searching for Mother is a humbling, softening, heart-opening and at times gut-wrenching process. We all crave that loving warmth no matter how old we get. It is never too late to go within and find Her there.
Mothering by Ganga Ma